The crib, the bassinet, the car seat, the highchair, the changing table, and our arms all have one thing in common; They are all empty. There are no sounds of our daughter crying. No diapers that need to be changed. No looking over the crib to watch Leah sleep. Nothing. It’s empty and silent. My wife and I look at each other on the couch not knowing what to say. All we know is is that our apartment is empty.
What Am I Suppose To Being Doing?
I feel the anxiety rising up within in me. My hands are getting sweaty, and I’m walking around trying to figure out what I’m suppose to do. There are two shelves of kids books that aren’t being read and my wife isn’t asking me to get anything for her or the baby. Again I ask myself “What am I suppose to do?”
In the midst of grief, there seems to be sense to “do something” to distract or numb the pain. As I wrestle through this, I think of the story of Mary and Martha. In the book of Luke, it says the following;
“While they were traveling, he entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord’s feet and was listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand.” The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her.”-Luke 10:38-42
Notice how the Lord confronts Martha’s emotional state. He says to Martha “you are upset and worried about many things.” Was Martha truly worried about whatever tasks she needed to get done, or was she doing those tasks to numb whatever emotional pain she had? Doing a bunch of tasks isn’t going to fix or even take away the pain, it will only numb it for a short awhile. The Lord Jesus isn’t calling us to “work the pain out”, but instead, to come to Him and listen to what He has to say. How can we listen to Him? Through His Word. Psalm 119:130 says;
“The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.”-Psalm 119:130
The Word of God will bring light and understanding to us in midst of our pain and it will provide comfort in our healing. The question is, will we decide to sit at the Lord’s feet and listen?
“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD”- Jeremiah 30:17
-Michael A. Kubus