“You don’t think this is a silly idea, right?” “Mike, don’t forget the pie that’s going to my grandparents!” “Who wants desert?!” “Rachel, I think I just ate some ice or something in your pie…” “Why are there plastic babies in the pie….Oh my goodness! You are having a baby?!?!?!”
I write these highlights from last years Thanksgiving with tears start rolling down my face. It was this time last year that Rachel and I announced to our family that we were expecting Leah. There was a lot of hugs, tears, and joy. This year the hugs, tears, and yes, joy are still around.
As each month goes by, I often imagine what would be happening with Leah around. Maybe she would be smiling a lot? Maybe she would be making a lot of cooing sounds? How many shirts would need to get washed from messy food? How often would I take her to the church office and hold her as I prepare for Wednesday Night services? What would Thanksgiving be like today?
While there are a lot of “What if’s”, I know that right now there are a lot of mixed emotions between being sorrowful and joyful, especially today. Sorrowful because instead of Leah being at the Thanksgiving Dinner table with us, we are going to visit and honor her at the gravesite. Sorrowful because all the dreams of raising her and watching her grow into a beautiful young lady are no longer possible. Sorrowful because I personally just want to hold my baby girl. With all this sorrow, grief, and anxiety, I still cling to the hope of the Lord. Psalm 94:19 says;
“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”
In the midst of of my sorrow, I can still find joy. Why? Even though I will be feasting with family and friends this Thanksgiving without Leah, I know she will participate in the greatest feast of all, the marriage supper of the Lamb. Revelation 19:6-10 reads as followed;
“Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.” Then I fell down at his feet to worship him, but he said to me, “You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your brothers who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God.” For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.”
This Thanksgiving and the ones to follow, my wife and I will not be able to celebrate with Leah at the table. However, I thank God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, that one day, we will be able to participate in a feast with her, a feast that will last for the rest of eternity, giving thanks to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone,
Michael A. Kubus